<ok…side note…  I published this and then read it one more time… I have to laugh!  I do not actually REMEMBER being born at 12:15am!  haha!  I just remember reading that on my birth certificate.  Ok.. back to the nonsense.)

 Wednesdays are the days that I do not do the dishes, or clean the bathroom, or do anything!  It just feels like the kind of day I should relax and tell myself how good I am the rest of the week.    A *great* day to work on my blog!  

I don’t know why I think Wednesdays are the right day to relax.  Seriously… what’s wrong with Tuesdays?  Yesterday I went to work, came home, cooked dinner, cleaned the shower, and worked out on my DDR.

 Oooo, speaking of that… have you ever tried the DDR?  Dance Dance Revolution.  It plays crazy techno music that isn’t my favorite, but I love doing it!  If you like Rock Band or are addicted to Guitar Hero (like me!) you might like a little DDR in your life.   It is Guitar Hero for your FEET!  Instead of moving those fingers around, you are hitting buttons with your toes to the beat of some (gross techno) music.  It is a lot of fun and it is a great work out for me. 

 Thursdays… not a relaxing day.   That’s the day you do all the stuff you don’t want hanging over your head for the weekend.  Definitely not a day to sit around typing on the ole laptop.

So, I am left with Wednesday’s.  It’s my day!  It is hopeless for me to fight it…  so I won’t even try!

:o)

 Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do that just for the blog… the idea makes me laugh… but it is something I’ve always done.  And, apparently, something I do not do from time to time.   I think it’s fun to learn something new about yourself at 42.  I do not, contrary to my popular way of thinking, constantly evaluate and think deep thoughts about what I see. 

 I’m ok with that… I’m actually really happy to know it!

 So, today let me see if I can tell you what we’ve been doing lately without boring you to death.

 Roy and Squirt continue to spend a great deal of time on this thing they call baseball.  They go to two games every week, and practice at least once.  The coach is a jerk.  Well, he ACTS like a jerk a lot of the time, but I suppose he’s a good guy overall.  He is hard on the kids and the parents but what a crappy job he has!  Roy has been recruited as an unofficial assistant and the stories he tells of parents whining about their kids not playing enough or playing the wrong position or being picked on… craziness!    These kids are 10.  T. E. N.  They are not experts… heck they are just learning all the rules.  They do NOT pay attention all the time.  They do NOT c.a.r.e. if they miss a ball because they were talking to their friends instead.  They are 10.   If I was allowed into this crazy boy world (don’t tell anyone but I’m pretty glad I’m not allowed!) I would put that on a 16″ x 90′ banner.  THEY ARE 10!   Being 10 gets you an automatic pass on a lot of things.

 Am I rambling?  It sure sounds like I am.    I suppose I should move on….

 The pool is finally warm enough to enjoy a swim on an 80 degree day.  So that’s what we did the last two days.  Squirt has three good friends that live on our street (YAY!) and they were all in the pool most of yesterday and most of today.  When they weren’t in the pool, they were building forts out of patio furniture and blow up floaties and beach towels.  Being 10 must be the Age of Fort Building!  It was then that I stole a floatie and floated quietly around the pool by myself.  That lasted about three minutes.  :o) 

 Roy and I went to Sears this afternoon and bought a new BBQ grill.  I still can’t believe he brought the old one from Boise.  Our old grill was a housewarming gift from his brother back in 1997.   It served it’s purpose!  It provided enough hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken and ribs to be retired!   The handle to open the lid was only connected on one side.  The “bricks” at the bottom have charred to nothing.  I should take a picture of it.  Old and decrepit!  Anyway… the new one is bright and shiny and not available until Friday, but that’s OK.   We paid for most of it with a gift card I got from redeeming reward points on my Sears card.  I heard a rumor they were going to cut the “worth” of the points so I cashed them all in.   It felt like free money, and that is always fun.

Well… that’s about a million words (give or take a few hundred thousand) which isn’t bad for someone with a bad case of B.B.   If I was going to blog about what I see today, it would be about some crazy lady with nothing to say who takes a very long time to say it <grin>.

Oh oh oh … forgot… I’ve been “smober” for 3 weeks, 1 day, 22 hours and 4 minutes. 

 Being a shopper (as I definitely am!) I immediately started thinking about what I could buy with that money.  It is not insignificant!  That is enough for a really nice dinner, or a couple reasonably priced new outfits!   Or a really dreamy new pair of shoes.   And all I had to do was stop buying boxes of these little paper wrapped, dried weeds.  Hmm….  

 To be fair, I have to point out that two months ago, this savings would be 1/2 of that, or around $42, but that is nothing to sneeze at either.

 Oddly enough, I think I will save it for later.  In a few more weeks I will have saved enough to buy the really cool silver bracelets I’ve had my eye on since last summer.   If I wait a year, I’ll have enough for a short vacation.   I am surprised how much this intrigues me.

 On the flip side… I’ve not smoked for 2.63 weeks and just yesterday I thought I wouldn’t make it… I thought I neeeeeeeeded that smoke.   It’s been a really really really long time and still I have cravings.  That’s totally unfair, but I suppose that’s why they say it is difficult to quit.  Another 102 weeks and I’ll be in the clear….

Boys…. they LOVE to rough house.  I don’t get it… but then again, I’m just a girl.

 Little guy feels like playing with the big guy but knows he’s not tough enough.  So he disappears into his room and comes out looking like this.  HA!  That is too funny!  He’s got a blanket, a sweatshirt and two t-shirts inside that coat.   I tried to upload the video of what happened next, but the file is too big and I’m not savvy enough to shrink it.  Maybe that can be tomorrow’s project.

 For now, you’ll have to trust me that watching an adult “beat” on a little kid is really funny!  It’s that young person giggle that gets me going… I can’t resist it!

 Happy Friday!

PS 6 days 21 hours 39 minutes $31.06 saved.

 Ha, I know you thought I was going to talk about being a non-smoker! 

Ok, if you insist, I will tell you!  I have a tracker program called Silk Quit that tells me I’ve been smoke free for 4 days, 18 hours and 44 minutes.  Yahoo!  It also says I have saved $21.50 and will live another 8 hours or so.  Now I can’t vouch for the program… I did not check it out anywhere and it may be the most viral of viruses, but I still like it.  I picked it up here:   http://www.silkquit.org/stop-smoking/quit-meter.aspx.

 I have a sign up in my office that says, “Warning, the I.J.Q.S. Association has determined there is an elevated threat of unreasonable crankiness in this office.  Today’s threat level is:   Red”  haha!  (I Just Quit Smoking).   It has been good for me to put my struggle out for the public to see.  Partially because failing at this point would be soooo embarrassing, and partially because they have been warned.  If they make me mad anyway, they suffer the consequences.  :o)   <wink>

Yesterday it became clear that my prescription stop smoking aid is really helping.  I forgot to take my afternoon dose!  At about 3pm I was having a hard time… thinking about smoking too often.  Then I realized my mistake and corrected it.  Funny thing… as soon as I took the medicine, I felt better.  Hmm… maybe the ‘help’ is all mental.  I’ll keep taking it anyway, I need the help either way!  For inquiring minds, I am taking a generic form of Zyban.  The newer drug warned of increased moodiness… I couldn’t risk that! 

Overall I think my attitude has been good.  Just don’t ask the ladies at Captain D’s Seafood who dared forget my cocktail sauce…

 A bed, a school book, some push pins, a couch, an Incredible Hulk beach towel, an amp for an electric guitar, a sheet, a back pack, a few blankets, and an electric keyboard.  

Ready?  Go!  You have… oh I don’t know… 20 minutes.  

If you are a kid, you may have come up with:

Now you can play ‘find the hidden object’ to make sure I didn’t throw any extras in.    But don’t look too hard for the couch… it’s on the other side.  This fort is built between the bed and the couch.  

If all you have is several blankets, a small trampoline, a pillow and a small end table, you could do this (what a great spot to watch TV!  Notice he has taken the remotes):

The trampoline is upside down, resting on the couch and the little table, and is providing the roof of this beauty.  If you look closely, you can see the outline of the legs under the blankets. 

Seriously, what would we do without kids?  Sure, this one was mad when I wouldn’t let him take the packing tape in his room.   “But I have to hook the blanket on the box and it won’t staaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.”   Instead he had to use his imagination a just a little bit more.  

Now isn’t that a tragedy?

P.S.  I’ve been smoke free for … umm…  11 hours and 45 minutes!  Yahoo!

Concealed because a woman will smile and tell you it’s ok!  Next time will be the charm!  Devastation because on the inside, she feels broken.  Inadequate.  Less than…

Yes, I’ve been through unsuccessful fertility treatments.  It was a long time ago.  Fourteen years!   That is a long time to remember every emotion and thought that went through my mind when I got that news.  Again. 

We tried to make babies on our own for over a year.   Taking temperatures, recording cycles, and I am almost ashamed to admit, I used to elevate my behind after each attempt because I heard it would help.  It didn’t… not for me, anyway.  I wasn’t desperate to have a child, but I sure wanted one really bad. 

 Fertility treatments are strange.   You spend a lot more time with doctors and nurses then you do with your spouse.  You have tests and shots and ultrasounds and shots and tests.  Then the crowning moment…. you’ve enhanced your egg growth with pills, released your egg(s) with an injection, your husband kept his morning appointment to leave his…ummm… contribution with the docs, the docs have taken that contribution and spun it up to make it more concentrated, you are lying on the table and the doctor comes in, holds up a turkey baster, points to the label and says, “Is this your husband?”  You want to laugh, but you are nervous!  And excited!  So you don’t laugh then, but it is moments like that you remember as the best part.  The funny part. 

 I tell people I would feel a lot different about the treatments if they resulted in a baby.  Because they didn’t, I see them as an awful experience.  There is no love and tenderness in a turkey baster.  There is no closeness…no enjoyment of the baby making process.  It is scheduled and sterile and awful. 

 We tried three times to “buy a baby from the doctor”.  (that makes me laugh too… that’s what it felt like!)  The stress was suffocating.  We lived and breathed by ovulations and doctors appointments.  By the end of the third try, my relationship with my husband had deteriorated.  We fought and he left for three days. 

He came back the day I found out that the third try was also unsuccessful.   I remember that as one of the happiest days of my life.  That is the day I realized that having a husband who loved me was so much more important than having a baby.  We could adopt, or not.  We would still have each other… and that’s what really mattered.

 This was my friend’s first attempt.  We live in different states so I haven’t witnessed her stress first hand, but I have heard about it from others.  I try to remember when the stress started to become unbearable for us.  That part I do not remember… it was only hindsight that made our trouble so clear.    I wish her all the luck I did not have!  I hope that it is in the cards for her to have her child(ren).    But if it isn’t, I hope she finds a blessing and a silver lining like I did.  There are reasons for everything, they say, and I believe them.

For those that don’t already know…. my husband and I are now caring for and raising two of our nephews.  The plan for us was simply different than the one we had imagined for ourselves!

 Our Operations Manager put together a great week of activities.  Yesterday was Safety Hide and Seek.  The day before was Emergency Preparedness.  Today’s safety focus brings us today’s topic.

 The local Sheriff’s Office Crime Prevention department sent over a representative who shared the ”Refuse to be a Victim” program.   She covered staying safe at home, at work, online, etc.   Everything from what kind of doors you should have on your house, to being alert in parking lots, to keeping your online information safe.  I enjoyed it!

 HOWEVER… (I know you saw that coming!)… At one point she launched herself into a discussion of scams.  Phone scams, mail scams, criminal scams of all types.  She very enthusiastically asked if any of us travel.  As I’ve been a business traveler for a lot of years, I raised my hand along with several other people.   She stood up at the front of the conference room, in her official uniform, and passed on this great pearl of wisdom:

   “Make sure you don’t give back the hotel electronic key cards!  That little card they so casually toss in a drawer where anyone can grab it, stores ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION!!!!!  Someone need only open that drawer, grab a handful of used cards and your identity is stolen!!!”

    Wide eyes all around the table…except mine.  I am terrible at hiding my true thoughts.  Verbal responses might come out all right, but my facial expressions give me away every time.   My eyes were rollllllllllling.    I might even have mumbled a quick, ‘you have GOT to be kidding me’.  

 Next up, another wise tip, “Be careful when you return to your car to find a flyer on your BACK window.  The criminals know how you think!  They know you won’t see it until you’ve started your car and they KNOW you won’t turn off the car before you get out to grab that flyer.  While you are standing behind your car, they are jumping in the driver’s seat!”

 At this point, I am in physical pain.  Rolling ones eyes for an extended period of time takes real effort!

You see… both of those gems have been flying around the Internet since at least 2003.    The stories are designed to spread unnecessary paranoia.  If you own a computer, or borrow a computer, or ever speak to another human being about computers, you need to be familiar with the ultimate urban legend debunker, http://www.snopes.com.   Certainly if you plan to stand in front of 30 innocent people, in your official Crime Prevention uniform, you need to be familiar with, and occasionally check the facts, at snopes.    (search:  “hotel key cards” and “car jacking” if you want to read the full reports.)

My point is not to pitch a website.  (Though I absolutely must, for the sake of my eyeballs, pass the word about that particular site.)  My point is this…  an official member of the local crime prevention team stood up in front of my co-workers (and probably hundreds of other people) and gave them really good information about how to protect themselves.  And then dished out a double scoop of … well.. poop.   As an extremely outspoken and opinionated person, I had a choice to make.  If I called her out on her mistakes in front of the group, I would throw her credibility out on everything she said.  If I did not, she would continue to pass on falsities (word or no?  you be the judge, but you know what I mean!) to unsuspecting civilians. 

We have enough to worry about these days from real threats.  

 I didn’t tell her then, but I think I will send her an email with a link to here.  Oh but wait… she probably won’t check it out.

There are a lot of places I don’t smoke.  I don’t smoke in a non smokers house.  I don’t smoke in my own house.  I don’t smoke in restaurants (it’s illegal in my state).   But on my back porch, in my car and out the back door at the office, I indulge in this terrible habit.   Standing outside restaurants to smoke isn’t below me… I’ll do it.  But I try to stand away from the walkway.

About two weeks ago, the place where I buy these tools of my bad habit tells me that Obama has slapped a new tax on cigarettes that goes into affect (effect?  MOM!  Help!) April 1.  Hmm… I hadn’t heard anything about that.  How does that relate, I ask the clerk, to the extra $10 on this carton you just rang up?  She claims she doesn’t know.

 A few days ago, the place I buy these from rings me up at another $10 over what I paid before.  In less than two weeks, the price of cigarettes has almost doubled.  But wait, I exclaim!  It isn’t April 1st yet! What’s going on?  All I get is rolled eyes and a comment… Yes, he says, I feel the same way.

 Honestly, I think I will owe these people my life.  Not the clerks, of course, they are doing their job.  I can’t be mad at them, or thank them, as they are just selling stuff the way they have been told to sell it.   But the stores who figured this would be a good time to up their profit margins?  I will thank them some day.  The cigarette manufacturers who have admitted to raising their prices ahead of the tax increase?  I will thank them too.  Obama?  I just might have to give him this one.  On a personal level, he has just triggered what might be one of the hardest but most important changes I will make in my life.

 I’m quitting on Saturday.  I’m pretty sure I’m about to give myself a $365/year tax cut.